I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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