Pants 0. Shit 1.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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