Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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