im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
