I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
