i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
