tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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