my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
