Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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