oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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