I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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