I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
