something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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