who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
