I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
