I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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