; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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