I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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