I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bring me that man meat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
