You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she looked like the before picture.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize