somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
