Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
