the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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