I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
