I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
