if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
