Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
