Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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