As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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