the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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