The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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