I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
