standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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