I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
