Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
