You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
