I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
