Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
