What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
