i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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