when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
