I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
