i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
