Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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