I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
