And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
