Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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