At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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