one two three fourrrrnication!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
