Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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