I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
