i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
