i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
