There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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