My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
