wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
