I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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