I CAN MOONWALK!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
